Grits

A guide for life

The other evening, at the end of a very fun dinner, a newish friend of mine here in Santa Fe said something that was totally cool and quite profound to me. He is a medical doctor and had just learned that my husband and I study and practice the principles of Christian Science in our everyday life...and we both have for most of our lives.

He said, "That is so cool, to believe in something as an adult that you did as a child." I said that it was when I was an adult that Christian Science proved its worth as a way to live my whole life.

When I was a kid my brother, sisters and I attended the church of my mom. My dad attended the Christian Science church. (My parents agreed that was a reasonable plan. Pretty typical of the era, I think.) At around 7 years old, I was stung by a bee. We hustled off to the pediatrician and he gave me a shot of penicillin. As I remember, in a day or so I started to swell up and itch everywhere...feet, hands, joints, face, even inside my mouth.

Back to the pediatrician who prescribed another drug to alleviate the swelling and the itching. Didn't work. I remember being very uncomfortable -- and being popped into a cold bath with baking soda to relieve the itching.

This went on for several days. Finally, with no progress in my condition, in fact my throat felt like it was closing up and it was hard to breathe, the doctor told my mom that he was very concerned about giving me any more of the drug because it could have a harmful effect. But that he didn't know what else to do.

My mom called my dad at work, very frightened. Dad said, "Can we use Christian Science now?"

To my dad, relying on spiritual healing as defined by Christian Science was a natural and effective remedial practice. He had relied on it for most of his life. But to my mom, who had only relied on medical treatment, Christian Science was a radical approach to physical healing. But it appeared that nothing more could be done by the doctor. So she said yes.

My dad called a Christian Science practitioner, someone who is a professional spiritual healer in the Christian Science method.

He prayed through the night. Now since I was the patient, I don't know how his specific prayers actually went. But knowing what I know now about how to pray scientifically, he probably started with the definition of God as Love, as the loving Father and Mother of His entire creation. He is the All of every living thing. And since He is Love, then His creation, His Allness, must be good.

Then the practitioner would have seen me as a creation of this Father-Mother Love, so I must be good too. Could this good Creator have made anything bad, like a deathly reaction to a bee (one of His creations) or a drug? Not possible. As a child of the Good One, and a reflection of His good qualities, I cannot be susceptible to anything He did not create. I must be free. This is the principle, the law of my true and only being.

Whatever the specifics of the practitioner's prayer, I WAS free the next day. The swelling and the itching were gone.

To my mom, this experience changed her whole view of a spiritual practice. We soon started attending the Christian Science church of my dad.

For me as a kid, Christian Science was a faith tradition. But as an adult, learning how to apply the principles of its teaching, it has become a scientific practice, a practical application to any situation in my life: relationships, healing, financial challenges, career guidance, etc. The more I apply it, the bigger its worth is proven.

It is pretty cool, when I think about it...that something I accepted in my childhood (because it was all I knew) has become bigger, stronger and grander to me as an adult.

If you have ever gone back to the house you grew up in and seen it shrink before your eyes, you can get an idea of how profound the opposite effect can be.

I'm pretty grateful to my parents -- to my dad for never thinking it was "too late" or "not enough time" for Christian Science treatment, and to my mom for saying "yes." They gave me a guide for life.

Going fishing

Almost anyone who has struggled with making a job or career change has asked themself, "What is it I want to DO with my life?"

This is a pretty good indication that you aren't all that satisfied with whatever you are doing in your job right now. There could be lots of outward reasons -- not enough money, no challenge in the work, too much challenge in the work, bad boss, etc.

Whenever I have asked the question of myself, and I have many times, once I get past the outward stuff, it always comes down to "no meaning." IOW, I didn't feel like I was making a difference or contribution, either to the workplace or to anyone else in the world. But it took me awhile to figure out what to do about this. Prayer helped a lot!

During one period of my life (about 10 years), I actually worked at one advertising agency THREE TIMES because I was escaping other jobs that didn't satisfy me. Now, in all fairness, each time I returned to the ad agency it was for a better position, but I wonder if it wasn't because it was "familiar"?

Now I am in a different position. About a year and a half ago I finished a 7-year job that was the MOST fun, MOST fulfilling and HARDEST job I have ever had. Seriously. It was like everything I had learned in my 25-year working career was brought to the table to be used and then WAY MORE was required to achieve results.

When it was time to leave (and it was time), I was even satisfied that I had left nothing of myself on the table. IOW, I gave it my all (and more than I thought I had!). And I NEVER asked myself, "What do I want to DO with my life" because I was doing exactly what I wanted to do: make a contribution, to my workplace and to the larger world.

So, back to where I am now. Once you have had that feeling of fulfillment and meaning, nothing else will do. Sure, you could say "OK, I have done it!" But that is not for me. There is more to do. That's how I am feeling now....I don't ask myself what do I do, cuz I know. But what form should it take now?

I pray a LOT about this because I know in my heart that God wants the talents that He has given me to be used...to be expressed. These aren't "my" talents, they are His that I am reflecting. He wouldn't give them without creating the opportunity for them to be expressed. There is no doubt in my mind that the most wonderful job I have had to date was made possible by God. He hasn't stopped being God, has He? Then He hasn't stopped loving me and giving me the opportunities to express His nature.

This week I was reading the Bible story from John about the disciples meeting Jesus after he had been crucified. When he died, they just seemed to scatter...and many of them immediately returned to their former occupation of fishing (sounded familiar to me!). Only, this time they caught absolutely nothing. What's up with that? These guys were professional fishermen, following many generations of fishermen, and still they caught nothing.

And then Jesus appears on the shore, only they didn't recognize him (they thought he was dead, so how could they see him?). And he kinda drives it home by asking them if they have any fish. SInce they didn't he gives them a tip (I think this is funny, coming from a carpenter): "Fish on the RIGHT side of the ship..."

Lo and behold, they couldn't even bring up the nets because there were so many fish!

And when they came to shore, and there was fish on the barby, they finally recognized Jesus. They must have known this was a bigger deal than just going fishing.

In Science and Health, by Mary Baker Eddy, the author describes her understanding of this experience:

"Convinced of the fruitlessness of their toil in the dark and wakened by their Master's voice, they changed their methods, turned away from material things, and cast their net on the right side."

Many Bible scholars consider this "right side" as meaning the right motive or purpose of the disciples' work. Evidently what Jesus wanted them to do was be "fishers of MEN"...to continue the work of teaching humanity about their true spiritual natures as children of the one God.

So, Jesus wasn't teaching them new technical aspects of being fishermen, they had that nailed. But he was enlightening them as to their true purpose in life.

Here is another tip from Ecclesiastes:

Be generous: Invest in acts of charity. Charity yields high returns.

For me, this message is clear: to continue in some form the good work of serving humanity. I won't -- can't-- return to my previous life of marketing and strategic planning ...unless these are part of my tacklebox in being a fisher of men :-).

Want a better boss? Be a better mirror.

Ouch. A survey just published by Florida State University finds that many, MANY workers mistrust their bosses. Not a surprise to you? Well, I am not surprised, but I am disappointed. Come ON, how hard can this be???

Here are the stats about Bad Boss Behavior (700 workers interviewed across industries):

39% said their supervisor failed to keep promises.
37% said their supervisor failed to give credit when due.
31% said their supervisor gave them the "silent treatment" in the past year.
27% said their supervisor made negative comments about them to other employees or managers.
24% said their supervisor invaded their privacy.
23% said their supervisor blames others to cover up mistakes or minimize embarrassment.

To me, this is a checklist for what NOT to do and seriously, does this sound impossible? In fact, when I look at this list I ask myself, would I treat my family this way? Or my friends? Hmmm, I don't think I would have any friends if I did and the family would avoid me!

Ok, maybe this kind of stuff happens to you by your boss, but you gotta ask yourself: have I done anything like this to my colleagues? I am all for changing other people but I have learned that when I want better behavior from others I look at my own actions and ask, What can I do better?

It's kinda like a mirror. You know how when you get wigged out about something, others around you pick up the vibe and start doing the same...the bad mojo escalates, until (hopefully) someone with a calmer attitude shows up. The "spell" is broken.

I figure that being a "better mirror" might be a way to get a better boss.

One way to being a better mirror is to think about yourself as the reflection of God. Reflection like a mirror and reflection like the "thought" or "consideration" of God.  Think of all the good qualities of God, like love, goodness, creativity, compassion, justice, fairness, kindness...there are tons. Now, if you are the creation of God, then She must have made a creation like Herself with the same qualities. (IOW, how could She make something unlike Herself? Doesn't sound logical or even possible, seems to me.) That wonderful, God-like creation is YOU!

Ok then, say you are the mirror reflecting these qualities from the Original. This is the mirror you reflect to your boss, your colleagues, friends and family. Regardless of what swirls around you, your reflection of good qualities at the very least brings calm to tense situations (a good thing) and at the most can be the example others want to emulate (a GREAT thing!). No downside.

Try it. Expect to see signs of progress...but don't be disappointed if everything doesn't change all at once. In my experience as a manager, it has been more of a "work in progress." Almost every night, before I go to sleep, I review the events of the day and ask, could I have handled that better? Could I have been a better reflection of the good Spirit? Always, ALWAYS the answer is yes. And so, it is a step by step improvement.

Hmmm, a daily improvement on how you treat people by being a better mirror. Sounds like a successful management style to me!

The light of Christmas

"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light."

This verse from Isaiah in the Bible has special meaning for me...and likely for anyone who has lived for a length of time in a sad, heavy and depressing state of mind. And then, as if awakening from a bad dream, the heavy darkness disperses. For some, a situation changes that makes the difference. For others, a mental shift occurs first and then the situation changes. That's what happened to me.

To me, Isaiah is speaking about the advent of the Christ or Messiah coming to the world to proclaim God's eternal, unconditional love for mankind. Each Christmas-time humanity turns to focus on this appearance and consider its meaning and blessing for individuals and the world. To me, the Christ is the divine nature of God that Jesus embodied...and showed mankind that each one of us can have this light of Christ too.

In the early days of the Web, I had an idea for a website that I thought was killer. My entire business career was in marketing, not technology, so the focus of my site idea was content and it responded to what I perceived was a real need at the time. Many others in the business and political communities also thought it had merit so I embarked on a long period of development. Along the way, my husband created another pretty cool website concept and we both became more focused on these two websites than our ongoing businesses.

Both of these Web concepts required months of travel to contract content partners as well as technology development and funding. With both sites, there was tremendous enthusiasm for the content -- but since this was the early days of web development, the technology was a major undertaking and perceived as a big risk, so funding was difficult.

The upshot was that after two years my husband and I were heavily  -- I mean heavily -- in debt. Personal as well as business.

What should have been an exciting time became a very dark period.  I prayed many times a day to know what to do next. I asked God, who I understand to be the Spirit and intelligence of all Life to give me direction. The most important and constant prayer for me was to affirm that I am God's loved child, so I have the light of Christ with me always. This light of goodness is abundant and cannot be obscured by my personal activities. How could I fail with the Christ within?  I even asked God to show me the way OUT of these projects! I was totally willing to let go of "my" way and see Her way.

But that particular answer never came. Instead, there was daily guidance to meet immediate and basic needs...and to keep going. One thing I learned from this period is to be open to any answer, and not to outline one. Major life-lesson for me. But still this was a very heavy time...talk about walking in darkness! But one thing never left me: trust in God. (Ok,I wobbled many times :-)

At one point, I couldn't pay the minimum for all my credit cards. Anyone who has financed a new business with personal credit cards knows the constant stomach-churning each month to pay the bills. A spiritual idea came to me to be grateful to each of the credit card companies.  Every one of them -- and the products that were on the cards -- represented a service that was a benefit to me. How could they be penalized for their best efforts because of me?

It seemed a little like a Catch-22 but I knew that God doesn't work that way...benefitting one and not another. Or allowing for a "domino effect" of misfortune. Not possible in God's universe of good: Unconditional, all-inclusive love is God's way.

What came to me was to call each of the credit card companies and ask what I could do. Each of them offered a very generous plan -- in some cases deferred payment for a few months, others a very reduced minimum amount. I was able to do this, with no effect on my credit rating. My burden was lightening.

Shortly after this, I was put in touch with a Web development company that was looking for content. In a very quick period this company bought our Web concepts (with shares from their company) and offered us employment. Modest salaries were enough to cover our daily needs....more light!

Since the company was purchased with stock, there was no money to pay off our business debts. That would come when the company went public or was sold. But I had learned the lesson of gratitude for services rendered. My vendors were not the "enemy" and neither was I to them. So I called each one to let them know that no matter how long it took I would pay them back. And each month I sent a small amount to pay down the debt.

For the next three years, I prayed with a freedom and confidence that God was not only blessing me, She was blessing all these companies, and that full compensation was their right. Another Bible verse was an inspiration to me during this time:

"...I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten..."

This applied to my vendors too.

During this time, I was offered a job that included developing a Website focused on spirituality. Oh my, God is good! All that I had learned during this period that seemed so dark to me -- the practical as well as the spiritual development -- was needed by this company to share with spiritual seekers around the world. What a blessing this turned out for me and millions of others.

And one day, I received a check for our shares from the company that had purchased the Web development company. It was enough to pay all the vendors what we owed them. With a heart so full of gratitude I sent off each check...days before Christmas.

You know how a total eclipse of the sun makes the day turn dark? But the sun doesn't go anywhere, and eventually and inevitably the light overcomes the darkness. To me, this is a metaphor of the light of the nature of God, the Christ, that comes to bless humanity. It is unconditional, regardless of anyone's faith tradition. The sun just shines for the whole world...so does the Christ.

Each of us who yearns to bless others with our abundance of care and joy embodies that light. It can never be taken from us, nor can we fail in striving to live it. The light of Christmas lightens the whole year.

Honor the woman you are

Hey, I am not just talking to the women out there -- this is a call to action for men, too. So keep reading. This is being played out in the workplace, in our communities and our world.

There is definitely something awakening in the collective consciousness right now. Just in the last week I have received three separate articles from friends (men and women) decrying the victimization of women here in the US. Before you dismiss these as "isolated" situations, read these articles and then think realistically about your own experience and where you have witnessed evidence of disrespect, intimidation, or objectification at work or in your community. Victimization of women is insidious and pervasive and it must be stopped.

The first article was an Op-Ed in the New York Times by well-known author Bob Herbert entitled "Why aren't we shocked?". He recounts mainstream examples of misogyny that we as a society not only accept but flaunt. But the tipping point for Herbert was the two violent attacks on the schoolchildren in Pennsylvania and Colorado. In both cases the killers separated the girls from the boys. Then they molested, shot and killed many of the girls.

Shocking as the attacks were, why, Herbert asks, was the nation not outraged at the blatant "genderism"? If the kids were separated by religion or race, we would have seen the attacks for what they were: out and out hate crimes, which would have catapulted our society into action against this bigotry. But....today there is nothing. There is a horrible context for these crimes, a terrible influence that is not being addressed.

In the same week in the New York Times was a kinda-sorta humorous column (with a depressing message) on trying to find an adult Halloween costume at Target, Wal-Mart and K-Mart. "Halloween on Heels" describes how, in three prototypical mainstream department stores the author, Alison Glock only found women's costumes that were over-the-top sexy/tarty versions of French Maid, Cheerleader, Tavern Lady, etc. Hello! These are not adult bookstores! What message are we sending to our girls...and boys?

There is one more article I want to share because this one, to me, identifies a particular source (by no means the only one) for violence against women and how it is played out on the global scene. This is from the Washington Post: Clothes Aren't the Issue. The author is Asra Q. Nomani and while she is writing specifically about Islam, the message is for all societies. She says, "As long as the beating of women is acceptable in Islam, the problem of suicide bombers, jihadists and others who espouse violence will not go away; to me, they form part of a continuum."

Ask yourself, "What are my sources for my behavior? What am I accepting or going along with?"

OK, maybe these are hitting me hard because I have been thinking a lot about an underlying dimension of the HP scandal (I wrote recently about the ethics violations) that has NOT been discussed. Carly Fiorina (fomer CEO) and Patricia Dunn (former Chairman) were both dismissed by a predominantly male Board of Directors who played -- by many accounts -- hardball politics.

Now, before you dismiss this as simply "life in the big city," think again about what are the typical characteristics of the rules in the "big city". In fact, Carly mentions in her recent autobiography that when she joined the sales department of another big company (as one of the few women) the salesmen took her to a strip club for lunch to see what she would do. She says she went along, sucked it up, didn't lose her composure and evidently earned the respect of her male colleagues as a result.

Huh? Don't you think it's time for the rules to change?

Any situation -- work, community, home -- where the standard operating rules are harsh, intimidating, disrespectful and humiliating, the rules MUST change.

Big order...change the rules, change society. Phew. How to start? Here is one woman's opinion. Start with yourself.

Think about the qualities of your favorite women-friends. The qualities they are never afraid or intimidated to express. I am talking caring, generous, sensitive, courageous, thoughtful, compassionate. There are way more. Now, of course these qualities are not exclusive to women. In fact, when I think about all the good qualities of women AND men I believe they all come from one Source, the Creator, the Spirit of all living beings. Therefore, we ALL possess these qualities and creations of Spirit. But more often than not, women have an easier time expressing these qualities.

But I must ACTIVELY honor these qualities, in order for them to be made evident by myself and valued by others.They are essential to the ongoing health of companies and societies. The success of a civilization most certainly depends on how it treats and honors its women. I will not allow myself or others to write off these qualities as weak or invaluable. I will look for ways to express more of them in my life and work. I will look for and value these qualities in others (men and women). I will look for the wholeness of men and women by seeing the equal importance of all of Spirit's good qualities.

The characteristics of disrespect, intimidation, cruelty, humiliation are not qualities of Spirit. Therefore I will not ignore or succumb to them wherever I see them. I will mentally counter them with the true and good qualities of woman+man. In my world -- and one by one, woman by woman in all the world -- the ugly, dis-Spirited characteristics will cease to have power over humanity.

Will you stand with me and honor the woman in you...and everywhere?

“This cannot be God’s way.”

In yesterday’s New York Times Magazine was a short story written by a Muslim Iraqi who was held hostage for several weeks in 2004. He was captured, along with two Italians, at the Italian office of a humanitarian organization. They were helping to rebuild schools, water-treatment plants and hospitals.

To me, in many ways this story sounds like others: Iraqi national kidnapped and tortured because he is working with the Westerners, which must mean (according to his captors) he is working against Islam. If he isn’t working against Islam, then he must be working against the Sunnis or the Shi’ites. Whatever, it is all bad. This guy, along with many other hostages, is definitely behind the eight-ball.

But this isn't only a story about being captured, tortured, released. 

This fellow, Raad Ali Abdulaziz, states right up front that all he wanted to do was make a difference.  His chosen path was through a job as an engineer, to help build/rebuild the infrastructure of his native country.

I wonder how many of us feel that compelling desire in our daily work, that yearning to help humanity in some way? From moving pebbles to mountains, it is all important – and most certainly needed, wherever we are and whatever career path we have chosen.

When Raad is challenged as to which side he is on – Sunni or Shi’ite – he says he is a Muslim who doesn’t believe in breaking up Islam that way...he might as well have said he didn’t believe in breaking up God that way.

The experience – and the two years following as he and his family left everything behind in Iraq to start over in Europe – are still painful to Raad. But he says that there is a memory that transcends all of it: during the most critical moments he had a “strange feeling” and that something told him that he would not die because he had an unfinished task.

To rebuild by being a better engineer? No, something even better.

Raad wants to work to make his voice louder than the voice of those who order Muslims to fight all infidels – those who do not believe in Islam. “This,” says Raad, “cannot be God’s way.”

I believe that what Raad heard in his deepest, darkest moments – and still hears – is what the Bible refers to as “the still, small voice” of God. This voice urges all of His children to do good for each other, to build – not destroy, to heal pain – not inflict, and to take a stand against the forces of destruction.

Are we listening like Raad is? Every day this voice speaks, urging each of us to make choices based on love and compassion for one another. Yes, this is the Golden Rule operating, sustaining, fulfilling.

For most of us, our daily choices are not global decisions, but they most certainly have an impact in our personal world, whether it is work, family or community.

Let’s each of us make our way one of love, hope, healing. This is God’s way.

Unconditionally ethical

OMG, I just read a news item about the Hewlett Packard spying effort that stated that the private investigators (is that an oxymoron?) sent the complete report describing their covert and possibly criminal investigations to the HP ETHICS Director!!

And no, the Ethics Director did not blow the whistle on this...an outside Board Director did. Is it just me or does anyone else find this just a bit, ummm, ironic?

How can an Ethics function include the tactics of sending emails with spyware to specific individuals to track their keystrokes, "obtaining" (hey, isn't that stealing if it doesn't belong to you?) individuals' social security numbers to impersonate them in order to get private information from AT&T, and physical surveillance of relatives of HP Directors?

Evidently, the BIg Heads (the Ethics director as well as senior management) felt that the "egregious" leaks emanating from the Director deliberations over several years was enough reason to justify actions that many experts now are saying are illegal.

Even IF they aren't illegal, don't they fail the smell test?

Well, evidently I am out of touch with corporate America. Because in a recent study by Ponemon Institute, 85% of corporate directors surveyed believe that the "sanctity of boardroom discussions is more important than protecting their privacy rights." And 50% of them felt that the tactics used by HP were totally ok....as long as they aren't deemed illegal in the upcoming investigation. IOW, right now they aren't sure if they are technically illegal so it is ok to do it...and they would do it.

OK, color me confused, but I have always thought that "ethics" included moral principles above and around the law...you know, like following the Golden Rule. It's technically not breaking a State or Federal law if you don't treat your neighbor as you would yourself but sheesh, the whole foundation of the rule of law is that everyone is treated equally, fairly, without prejuidice. IOW, even when YOU dont treat your neighbor as you would yourself, the law treats you and your neighbor the same.

So! Returning to the corporate directors of corporate America, evidently they are ok with their corporate internal neighbors spying on them in the interest of their corporation's privacy. But how would they feel if another (outside) corporate board authorized the same tactics to spy on their personal lives? With ethics you can't make "conditions." Like, "yes it is ok to spy and ignore privacy rights because the BIGGER right is keeping the Boardroom private. But outside the Boardroom my privacy rights are paramount." Huh?

The Golden Rule isn't complicated. In fact, acknowledging its supremacy in daily decision-making eliminates a lot of the false suppositions that confuse and deter us from doing what we know in our hearts is the right thing to do. The inner compass in each of us is natural, it is put there in our individual identities as creations of the One Creator. This is our moral and spiritual DNA.

What confuses us and gets us off track? Fear, hatred, selfishness. But these are not in our spiritual DNA. What is? A favorite ethicist of mine, Mary Baker Eddy, wrote this over 100 years ago:

Let unselfishness, goodness, mercy, justice, health, holiness, love -- the kingdom of heaven -- reign with us...

With these qualities as our moral compass, how can we be confused and make unethical or even illegal decisions? Every employee can be an "ethics director" in his/her job.

Take a stand for grace in the workplace

I took a yoga-cum-pilates-cum-ballet class at the gym the other day that was HUGELY intense. I tried pilates before but it didn't feel like anything was happening (didn't hurt). I left ballet when they wouldn't put me on toe in the first month (I was 6). I like the workout of yoga but, to be honest, the meditation part seemed like a waste of time. I think there is a pattern here.

Yes, every workout session has to feel like a hard push, a challenge, an achievement over some inherent resistance.

This class I took the other day nailed my workout expectations, but it wasn't until the end that I understood why, when the teacher summed up her modus operandi. She said that in every pose or exercise it was essential to have the right form, to have grace. Because, she said,  "Through grace, you have strength."

This really made me think about what it means to have or express grace throughout the day. "Grace" to me is so much more than a physical movement. In its metaphysical expression it's that sense of goodwill, that desire to make every interaction a kind of blessing. What, you might be thinking? What about when you have to complain or challenge a co-worker or even fire someone. ESPECIALLY then. Because, as my teacher said, through grace you have strength.

A few years ago I worked with a new colleague (male) who was a major challenge. He was a very nice guy and bright but boy he made no effort to understand the protocols of the organization. He came in with a specific way of doing things and that was the way it was to be done. He didn't listen, didn't communicate, didn't collaborate. Not only did this cause a lot of conflict with others, work was not getting done ....I felt like I was required to make the extra effort to look over his shoulder to make sure nothing fell through the cracks. And yes, I felt like I was doing his job -- with the extra burden of dealing with him!

The root cause, I felt, was a classic "male vs. female" perspective about work. So, in order to get a better handle on how to deal with this classic male, I asked my husband how I should deal with it. Oh, he was very clear! He outlined how, in the male world, I should "one-up" this guy -- be a bigger "male" so that he will fall into line. That, he said, was the only "language" this guy would understand.

Ugh. This threw me back to several years before when I was heading up my own advertising agency. I struggled every day against the male dominance in clients and in the agency business. The successes came when I was clear about my complete spiritual identity as a woman -- my wholeness which includes the good and right qualities of woman AND man.

Treating my colleague as a dominant male left out all the woman-like qualities that I had grown to appreciate, value and stand for. Where was the grace in treating him that way??

When I prayed about what to do, the story of Joseph popped into my head. He was a servant of the Pharoah who did such a good job in all the tasks assigned to him that he ended up running the country for the Pharoah. But he was still a servant.

OK, am I seeing myself as the servant? Doing all the work but serving this colleague? No, I am not a servant! I am created equal in the eyes of Spirit. This reminded me of a statement from my favorite Bible commentary, Science and Health:

Let the male and female of God's creating appear.

We are both created equal. My colleague is not dominant and neither am I...so employing methods that are "more male" is throwing the weight into the wrong scale. What did I really need at this time? Another quote came to me from Science and Health:

What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds.

Oh yeah, this was my answer. I knew it was right because in an instant, all the weight of the problem fell away. Here was my "checklist" for how to interact (with blessing, not cursing), how to support (not grind my teeth) and how to communicate (with love, and not complain to others).

With this grace came the strength to do this every day. It got easier -- actually it became natural. Because it was my inherent nature as a complete, whole creation of Spirit.

What happened? Within a couple of months my colleague was transferred to another division to work that was more suited to his MO. And he is flourishing!

Grace is not exclusively a feminine quality. It is a quality of the wholeness of Spirit's creation so each of us possesses this quality. But, we must exercise grace every day in order to have its strength.
 

Severe (Red) Alert: what if it was your workplace?

What goes through your mind if your workplace is designated by the Department of Homeland Security as "Severe (Red)", the highest (worst) terror threat alert possible?

That's what happened to all airline personnel on flights leaving Britain for the United States today. If you were one of the thousands of workers -- pilots, cabin staff, ground crews -- what would you be thinking? And if you are not one of the workers, what are you thinking right now?: oooh, how awful...glad I don't work for the airlines...glad I am not flying today?

Here's what I am thinking. There are a lot of people who sign up to be on the frontlines of protecting people from attacks of every kind and they deserve our deepest gratitude and devoted prayers: law enforcement, fire departments, paramedics, the military. But c'mon, airline pilots and cabin stewards? These are everyday jobs, just like the kind you and I have. So I am thinking -- and praying -- a lot right now for airline employees as if they were my colleagues in my workplace.

To me, the whole universe is created and ordered by divine Spirit. And this Spirit, this divine Intelligence, only creates good, life, love.  All the effects or manifestations from this divine creation provide the spiritual atmosphere in which we live. Since this Mind-ful environment is created, defined, circumscribed, and maintained by the all-powerful Spirit, what can possibly penetrate or disrupt or even destroy this environment?

It is kind of like the law of gravity or aerodynamics: you can't change it, you can't stop it, you can't prevent it...and try flying without it! We depend on it to function. Similarly this is how the law of Spirit functions, the law of harmonious being, which supercedes even the law of gravity. It is unchangeable and impermeable and it affects every living thing.

Praying in this way is an affirmation to me of the assured safety of airline personnel and their passengers. They are divinely protected by this law of being.

I am also praying to know without a doubt that whatever is opposed to this law of harmony will be seen and eliminated. This is a natural consequence of being so clear about what is right and true and good that whatever isn't becomes really obvious!

Think about solving a math equation: you learn about what works and you are clear about the law that provides the right results. No doubts. So when you see something in the equation that doesn't work, you spot it right away and eliminate it. But if you didn't really know the good and true, you wouldn't be able to spot the false. So it is really important to be clear about what is right.

Law enforcement personnel are focusing on what is right and good for the airlines and for passengers. They are not confused or muddled or wishy-washy. They are surrounded by the atmosphere of divine Spirit and intelligence. They are alert to whatever doesn't conform to the standard of right activity. From the Spirit within their true selves, they can and will see whatever is opposed to the law of harmony. And they will eliminate it.

Airline personnel, passengers and law enforcement employees are held and uplifted by the hands of the Almighty Spirit. This is the law of Life.

A prayer for a vendor

How many times a week do you get ticked off at a vendor? Whether you work in a company or on your own, your business depends on the services of another business. And many times, a vendor's problems become yours, appearing as missed deadlines, poor performance, additional costs, etc. Whatever the issue, the vendor didn't meet your expectations.

I have learned that this is a call for action. No, not in dismissing the vendor, but a call to pray for the vendor...to include his/her business in my daily meditations that affirm the law of harmony in operation for my business and the vendor's.

I used to feel so trapped by a vendor's poor performance: no time to switch, too hard to switch, paid a deposit, couldn't appeal to the Big Boss to bring some pressure because the vendor didn't work for the BIg Boss. And therein lay the problem. It seemed to me that the vendor didn't have the same goals as I did and his goals (and issues) were in conflict with my needs.

Years ago I figured out that nobody wants to do a bad job...but things happen to derail the best of intentions. And how do I handle this in my own life? I pray: to affirm the supremacy of Spirit in all things, to know that only good comes from Spirit and guides every creation of Spirit for the blessing of all. This always gives me peace and, without fail, in this peaceful state an idea will come to adjust and fix whatever has gone wrong.

So, instead of having what the BIble calls a "hardness of heart", I open my heart to include the vendor in my prayers to Spirit. Big change, I must say. Instead of having a "vendor relationship", we become (in my mind) "prayer partners."  We are partners because we both desire the same thing: good benefits for our customers. And this desire for good is, to me, a simple open prayer.

The results in my businesses have been clear: more harmonious projects, blessings for the vendors, mutual respect and admiration. There have also been times when a vendor was replaced -- but even those situations were resolved harmoniously.

Real-time vendor issue

Right now I have a vendor performance issue I am praying about. The host for our site www.SpiritOnTheJob.com is DreamHost and they have been having lots of technical problems lately which is causing repeated slowness and denials of service for our users.

DreamHost is a very reputable hosting service that has been in business for almost 10 years. Their customer service staff is great, which I know because I am in constant communication with them. They are very upfront about the issues and are earnest in their work to fix the issues...but still, it is so disheartening when you are trying to build traffic and the users can't get to the site. And we are not the only site affected!

I have that trapped feeling again, so I know it is time to see DreamHost as my "prayer partner." We are united in our desire for good, to help our users/customers achieve their highest potential. This selflessness clears my view of the situation so I see it in its natural harmonious state. When I truly believe that this harmonious state is supreme over all conditions the situation adjusts to reflect this harmony...even technology! Technology has no mind to resist the all-powerful Spirit. In fact, the only intelligence in operation is the divine Spirit-Mind which supplies the ideas for creating and maintaining technology. So technology serves the creations of Spirit.

Neither DreamHost's customers (me!) nor SpiritOnTheJob.com's customers can be affected by anything that opposes Spirit-Mind. Why? Because Spirit-Mind is supremely powerful.

Whatever the engineers of DreamHost need to know, Spirit-Mind will provide it for the blessing of all of us. These beneficial ideas -- facts, actually --  cannot be hidden from them since every good idea is known to Mind, and these already-present facts will come into view and override whatever distortions are getting in the way. When the desire to do good and do right is present, it is like an open channel receiving all right ideas from Mind. This is the law of universal harmony. I have seen it operate and adjust technological issues many times when I headed up a large, multi-platform IT department.

So this is how I am supporting my prayer-partner, DreamHost. No anger, no frustration -- only confidence in the allness of Spirit-Mind to communicate all right ideas to whoever needs them right now.

Who wants to be an ally to partner with DreamHost?