Grits

Want a better boss? Be a better mirror.

Ouch. A survey just published by Florida State University finds that many, MANY workers mistrust their bosses. Not a surprise to you? Well, I am not surprised, but I am disappointed. Come ON, how hard can this be???

Here are the stats about Bad Boss Behavior (700 workers interviewed across industries):

39% said their supervisor failed to keep promises.
37% said their supervisor failed to give credit when due.
31% said their supervisor gave them the "silent treatment" in the past year.
27% said their supervisor made negative comments about them to other employees or managers.
24% said their supervisor invaded their privacy.
23% said their supervisor blames others to cover up mistakes or minimize embarrassment.

To me, this is a checklist for what NOT to do and seriously, does this sound impossible? In fact, when I look at this list I ask myself, would I treat my family this way? Or my friends? Hmmm, I don't think I would have any friends if I did and the family would avoid me!

Ok, maybe this kind of stuff happens to you by your boss, but you gotta ask yourself: have I done anything like this to my colleagues? I am all for changing other people but I have learned that when I want better behavior from others I look at my own actions and ask, What can I do better?

It's kinda like a mirror. You know how when you get wigged out about something, others around you pick up the vibe and start doing the same...the bad mojo escalates, until (hopefully) someone with a calmer attitude shows up. The "spell" is broken.

I figure that being a "better mirror" might be a way to get a better boss.

One way to being a better mirror is to think about yourself as the reflection of God. Reflection like a mirror and reflection like the "thought" or "consideration" of God.  Think of all the good qualities of God, like love, goodness, creativity, compassion, justice, fairness, kindness...there are tons. Now, if you are the creation of God, then She must have made a creation like Herself with the same qualities. (IOW, how could She make something unlike Herself? Doesn't sound logical or even possible, seems to me.) That wonderful, God-like creation is YOU!

Ok then, say you are the mirror reflecting these qualities from the Original. This is the mirror you reflect to your boss, your colleagues, friends and family. Regardless of what swirls around you, your reflection of good qualities at the very least brings calm to tense situations (a good thing) and at the most can be the example others want to emulate (a GREAT thing!). No downside.

Try it. Expect to see signs of progress...but don't be disappointed if everything doesn't change all at once. In my experience as a manager, it has been more of a "work in progress." Almost every night, before I go to sleep, I review the events of the day and ask, could I have handled that better? Could I have been a better reflection of the good Spirit? Always, ALWAYS the answer is yes. And so, it is a step by step improvement.

Hmmm, a daily improvement on how you treat people by being a better mirror. Sounds like a successful management style to me!

The light of Christmas

"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light."

This verse from Isaiah in the Bible has special meaning for me...and likely for anyone who has lived for a length of time in a sad, heavy and depressing state of mind. And then, as if awakening from a bad dream, the heavy darkness disperses. For some, a situation changes that makes the difference. For others, a mental shift occurs first and then the situation changes. That's what happened to me.

To me, Isaiah is speaking about the advent of the Christ or Messiah coming to the world to proclaim God's eternal, unconditional love for mankind. Each Christmas-time humanity turns to focus on this appearance and consider its meaning and blessing for individuals and the world. To me, the Christ is the divine nature of God that Jesus embodied...and showed mankind that each one of us can have this light of Christ too.

In the early days of the Web, I had an idea for a website that I thought was killer. My entire business career was in marketing, not technology, so the focus of my site idea was content and it responded to what I perceived was a real need at the time. Many others in the business and political communities also thought it had merit so I embarked on a long period of development. Along the way, my husband created another pretty cool website concept and we both became more focused on these two websites than our ongoing businesses.

Both of these Web concepts required months of travel to contract content partners as well as technology development and funding. With both sites, there was tremendous enthusiasm for the content -- but since this was the early days of web development, the technology was a major undertaking and perceived as a big risk, so funding was difficult.

The upshot was that after two years my husband and I were heavily  -- I mean heavily -- in debt. Personal as well as business.

What should have been an exciting time became a very dark period.  I prayed many times a day to know what to do next. I asked God, who I understand to be the Spirit and intelligence of all Life to give me direction. The most important and constant prayer for me was to affirm that I am God's loved child, so I have the light of Christ with me always. This light of goodness is abundant and cannot be obscured by my personal activities. How could I fail with the Christ within?  I even asked God to show me the way OUT of these projects! I was totally willing to let go of "my" way and see Her way.

But that particular answer never came. Instead, there was daily guidance to meet immediate and basic needs...and to keep going. One thing I learned from this period is to be open to any answer, and not to outline one. Major life-lesson for me. But still this was a very heavy time...talk about walking in darkness! But one thing never left me: trust in God. (Ok,I wobbled many times :-)

At one point, I couldn't pay the minimum for all my credit cards. Anyone who has financed a new business with personal credit cards knows the constant stomach-churning each month to pay the bills. A spiritual idea came to me to be grateful to each of the credit card companies.  Every one of them -- and the products that were on the cards -- represented a service that was a benefit to me. How could they be penalized for their best efforts because of me?

It seemed a little like a Catch-22 but I knew that God doesn't work that way...benefitting one and not another. Or allowing for a "domino effect" of misfortune. Not possible in God's universe of good: Unconditional, all-inclusive love is God's way.

What came to me was to call each of the credit card companies and ask what I could do. Each of them offered a very generous plan -- in some cases deferred payment for a few months, others a very reduced minimum amount. I was able to do this, with no effect on my credit rating. My burden was lightening.

Shortly after this, I was put in touch with a Web development company that was looking for content. In a very quick period this company bought our Web concepts (with shares from their company) and offered us employment. Modest salaries were enough to cover our daily needs....more light!

Since the company was purchased with stock, there was no money to pay off our business debts. That would come when the company went public or was sold. But I had learned the lesson of gratitude for services rendered. My vendors were not the "enemy" and neither was I to them. So I called each one to let them know that no matter how long it took I would pay them back. And each month I sent a small amount to pay down the debt.

For the next three years, I prayed with a freedom and confidence that God was not only blessing me, She was blessing all these companies, and that full compensation was their right. Another Bible verse was an inspiration to me during this time:

"...I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten..."

This applied to my vendors too.

During this time, I was offered a job that included developing a Website focused on spirituality. Oh my, God is good! All that I had learned during this period that seemed so dark to me -- the practical as well as the spiritual development -- was needed by this company to share with spiritual seekers around the world. What a blessing this turned out for me and millions of others.

And one day, I received a check for our shares from the company that had purchased the Web development company. It was enough to pay all the vendors what we owed them. With a heart so full of gratitude I sent off each check...days before Christmas.

You know how a total eclipse of the sun makes the day turn dark? But the sun doesn't go anywhere, and eventually and inevitably the light overcomes the darkness. To me, this is a metaphor of the light of the nature of God, the Christ, that comes to bless humanity. It is unconditional, regardless of anyone's faith tradition. The sun just shines for the whole world...so does the Christ.

Each of us who yearns to bless others with our abundance of care and joy embodies that light. It can never be taken from us, nor can we fail in striving to live it. The light of Christmas lightens the whole year.

Take a stand for grace in the workplace

I took a yoga-cum-pilates-cum-ballet class at the gym the other day that was HUGELY intense. I tried pilates before but it didn't feel like anything was happening (didn't hurt). I left ballet when they wouldn't put me on toe in the first month (I was 6). I like the workout of yoga but, to be honest, the meditation part seemed like a waste of time. I think there is a pattern here.

Yes, every workout session has to feel like a hard push, a challenge, an achievement over some inherent resistance.

This class I took the other day nailed my workout expectations, but it wasn't until the end that I understood why, when the teacher summed up her modus operandi. She said that in every pose or exercise it was essential to have the right form, to have grace. Because, she said,  "Through grace, you have strength."

This really made me think about what it means to have or express grace throughout the day. "Grace" to me is so much more than a physical movement. In its metaphysical expression it's that sense of goodwill, that desire to make every interaction a kind of blessing. What, you might be thinking? What about when you have to complain or challenge a co-worker or even fire someone. ESPECIALLY then. Because, as my teacher said, through grace you have strength.

A few years ago I worked with a new colleague (male) who was a major challenge. He was a very nice guy and bright but boy he made no effort to understand the protocols of the organization. He came in with a specific way of doing things and that was the way it was to be done. He didn't listen, didn't communicate, didn't collaborate. Not only did this cause a lot of conflict with others, work was not getting done ....I felt like I was required to make the extra effort to look over his shoulder to make sure nothing fell through the cracks. And yes, I felt like I was doing his job -- with the extra burden of dealing with him!

The root cause, I felt, was a classic "male vs. female" perspective about work. So, in order to get a better handle on how to deal with this classic male, I asked my husband how I should deal with it. Oh, he was very clear! He outlined how, in the male world, I should "one-up" this guy -- be a bigger "male" so that he will fall into line. That, he said, was the only "language" this guy would understand.

Ugh. This threw me back to several years before when I was heading up my own advertising agency. I struggled every day against the male dominance in clients and in the agency business. The successes came when I was clear about my complete spiritual identity as a woman -- my wholeness which includes the good and right qualities of woman AND man.

Treating my colleague as a dominant male left out all the woman-like qualities that I had grown to appreciate, value and stand for. Where was the grace in treating him that way??

When I prayed about what to do, the story of Joseph popped into my head. He was a servant of the Pharoah who did such a good job in all the tasks assigned to him that he ended up running the country for the Pharoah. But he was still a servant.

OK, am I seeing myself as the servant? Doing all the work but serving this colleague? No, I am not a servant! I am created equal in the eyes of Spirit. This reminded me of a statement from my favorite Bible commentary, Science and Health:

Let the male and female of God's creating appear.

We are both created equal. My colleague is not dominant and neither am I...so employing methods that are "more male" is throwing the weight into the wrong scale. What did I really need at this time? Another quote came to me from Science and Health:

What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds.

Oh yeah, this was my answer. I knew it was right because in an instant, all the weight of the problem fell away. Here was my "checklist" for how to interact (with blessing, not cursing), how to support (not grind my teeth) and how to communicate (with love, and not complain to others).

With this grace came the strength to do this every day. It got easier -- actually it became natural. Because it was my inherent nature as a complete, whole creation of Spirit.

What happened? Within a couple of months my colleague was transferred to another division to work that was more suited to his MO. And he is flourishing!

Grace is not exclusively a feminine quality. It is a quality of the wholeness of Spirit's creation so each of us possesses this quality. But, we must exercise grace every day in order to have its strength.
 

A prayer for a vendor

How many times a week do you get ticked off at a vendor? Whether you work in a company or on your own, your business depends on the services of another business. And many times, a vendor's problems become yours, appearing as missed deadlines, poor performance, additional costs, etc. Whatever the issue, the vendor didn't meet your expectations.

I have learned that this is a call for action. No, not in dismissing the vendor, but a call to pray for the vendor...to include his/her business in my daily meditations that affirm the law of harmony in operation for my business and the vendor's.

I used to feel so trapped by a vendor's poor performance: no time to switch, too hard to switch, paid a deposit, couldn't appeal to the Big Boss to bring some pressure because the vendor didn't work for the BIg Boss. And therein lay the problem. It seemed to me that the vendor didn't have the same goals as I did and his goals (and issues) were in conflict with my needs.

Years ago I figured out that nobody wants to do a bad job...but things happen to derail the best of intentions. And how do I handle this in my own life? I pray: to affirm the supremacy of Spirit in all things, to know that only good comes from Spirit and guides every creation of Spirit for the blessing of all. This always gives me peace and, without fail, in this peaceful state an idea will come to adjust and fix whatever has gone wrong.

So, instead of having what the BIble calls a "hardness of heart", I open my heart to include the vendor in my prayers to Spirit. Big change, I must say. Instead of having a "vendor relationship", we become (in my mind) "prayer partners."  We are partners because we both desire the same thing: good benefits for our customers. And this desire for good is, to me, a simple open prayer.

The results in my businesses have been clear: more harmonious projects, blessings for the vendors, mutual respect and admiration. There have also been times when a vendor was replaced -- but even those situations were resolved harmoniously.

Real-time vendor issue

Right now I have a vendor performance issue I am praying about. The host for our site www.SpiritOnTheJob.com is DreamHost and they have been having lots of technical problems lately which is causing repeated slowness and denials of service for our users.

DreamHost is a very reputable hosting service that has been in business for almost 10 years. Their customer service staff is great, which I know because I am in constant communication with them. They are very upfront about the issues and are earnest in their work to fix the issues...but still, it is so disheartening when you are trying to build traffic and the users can't get to the site. And we are not the only site affected!

I have that trapped feeling again, so I know it is time to see DreamHost as my "prayer partner." We are united in our desire for good, to help our users/customers achieve their highest potential. This selflessness clears my view of the situation so I see it in its natural harmonious state. When I truly believe that this harmonious state is supreme over all conditions the situation adjusts to reflect this harmony...even technology! Technology has no mind to resist the all-powerful Spirit. In fact, the only intelligence in operation is the divine Spirit-Mind which supplies the ideas for creating and maintaining technology. So technology serves the creations of Spirit.

Neither DreamHost's customers (me!) nor SpiritOnTheJob.com's customers can be affected by anything that opposes Spirit-Mind. Why? Because Spirit-Mind is supremely powerful.

Whatever the engineers of DreamHost need to know, Spirit-Mind will provide it for the blessing of all of us. These beneficial ideas -- facts, actually --  cannot be hidden from them since every good idea is known to Mind, and these already-present facts will come into view and override whatever distortions are getting in the way. When the desire to do good and do right is present, it is like an open channel receiving all right ideas from Mind. This is the law of universal harmony. I have seen it operate and adjust technological issues many times when I headed up a large, multi-platform IT department.

So this is how I am supporting my prayer-partner, DreamHost. No anger, no frustration -- only confidence in the allness of Spirit-Mind to communicate all right ideas to whoever needs them right now.

Who wants to be an ally to partner with DreamHost?

Spirituality in the workplace is totally selfless

I had a BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious) the other morning while walking in the hills of my Santa Fe home. It occurred to me that the very motivation, the essence even, of everyone who desires to bring their spiritual nature to the workplace is to help others.

Let that sink in for a second or two. This is huge, seems to me. Because what it means is that the yearning to know more about one's own spirituality becomes entirely selfless and inclusive when practiced in a group environment. In fact, if someone is really striving to be a better person in the workplace -- like, better relationship with co-workers, happier attitude through higher purpose, even better decision-making through righteous wisdom -- everyone in the workplace benefits.

How cool is that? Not only is that a present, tangible benefit, you score in the metaphysical being of life. Probably every faith tradition mandates the necessity of improving one's self in order to bless others. Actually, it seems to me, this indicates that helping others is inherent in our divine, spiritual nature.  It's that important.

But, sheesh, there are a lot of ways to skate on that. I know for myself that I can get very caught up in focusing my prayers on "my" problems, "my" priorities, "my" issues...and not include friends, family and community in my prayers. OUCH!! Not only that, lots of work environments aren't welcoming of folks discussing spiritual values relative to work issues. So there are "forces" that conspire against practicing what is truly natural to each of us.

However! Since the yearning to understand more about your spirituality can't be stopped then the desire to help others can't be stopped either. The workplace is that opportunity -- hey, maybe it is even a divine opportunity -- where your complete spiritual nature is put into practice.

This morning I was reading the story of Solomon when he is praying to God for guidance, now that he is the new king. His prayer is this:

Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?

I've read this many times. But today it really hit me: Solomon has taken on a new job and basically he is asking God to give him more spiritual understanding SO THAT he can help others in his new job. God is really REALLY happy with Solomon and he becomes one of the most loved of Old Testament rulers.

To me this is not saying we SHOULD be this selfless...it is saying we ARE this selfless. When we strive to develop spiritually and bring this state of consciousness to our workplace, we bless everyone we come into contact with.

Enron and you

Well. It took 4-1/2 years from the beginning to the end: Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling and founder Kenneth Lay were found guilty in federal court of the biggest corporate conspiracy and fraud case in the US.

Skilling was found guilty on 19 counts of conspiracy, fraud, false statements and insider trading and Lay was found guilty on all six counts of conspiracy and fraud.

The jury found they misled the public about the true financial health of Enron, whose collapse in late 2001 triggered the tsunami of corporate fraud that swept the United States. Enron's collapse marked the first of the high-profile corporate scandals, followed by WorldCom, Global Crossing, Adelphia and Tyco. And there was a ripple effect that hugely impacted accounting firms and corporations. All this fraud led to passage of the Sarbanes-Oxley law that tightened oversight of how American companies are audited.

Phew. To be honest, it is a bit anti-climactic. I hope it is not because I am inoculated to the outrageousness of the crimes. These crimes cannot possibly be minimized just because they are so-called "white collar" crimes. The Enron leadership (Skilling and Lay et al.) built a house of cards on lies, greed, selfishness and malfeasance that collapsed and buried thousands of innocent employees as well as scores of investors, many of whom had invested their life savings. How much? Enron's collapse took with it more than $60 billion in market value, almost $2.1 billion in pension plans and 5,600 jobs.

Ahhh, here it comes... I am feeling that same wrath and rage when the news first hit in 2001.  At the time, I remember thinking, Don't "we the people" have oversight through multiple impartial processes, like regulations and regulators...the government, accounting firms, the 4th Estate? Where was everybody? How could this happen? Was anyone doing what they were supposed to be doing?

After 4-1/2 years of investigation we now know that a whole lot of people were either incented to go along or look away...and others were so bamboozled by the intricate shell game they missed the fraud entirely.

The question really should be, "How did Enron get busted?" After all, weren't these guys "the smartest guys in the room"?

Turns out that in the months prior to Enron declaring bankruptcy, several employees at the company stated concerns about accounting practices and dubious partnerships. One employee, Sherron Watkins, who was VP for corporate development, courageously raised her voice loud and clear. She wrote to Ken Lay and management of improper management (yeah, she held a mirror to the crooks!) and accounting practices that threatened to destroy the company. She saw the pattern of behavior and what was at stake. And took a stand. Not just in the "privacy" of the company...she went public.

Sherron and others like her in Enron prove that the best and most effective "regulation" comes from "within" to be reliable: from the hearts and consciences of people who naturally turn to a principle, a code, a higher value system to guide them, no matter what the situation might be. Many relate this principle to a higher wisdom, a guiding Spirit. I know I do.

An organization is not a mindless machine, it is an orchestration of mentalities -- people whose daily thoughts and decisions shape and regulate a company. How important, then, for companies to encourage all of their employees to discover and develop those spiritual values that best promote goodness, honesty, integrity, compassion. Imagine what the force of everyday workers calling on their spiritual nature to do what is right could do for their companies, their investors and the public. There would be far fewer Enrons, and far more examples of the goodness of spiritual power.

"Honesty is spiritual power. Dishonesty is human weakness, which forfeits divine help," wrote spiritual thinker and businesswoman Mary Baker Eddy, who founded a global publishing and communications company in the 19th century that still exists today.

Anyone of us, wherever we work, may be presented at any time with an ethical choice: to rely on a higher wisdom, recognize and act in accord with our spiritual nature and do what is right -- or go along with a prevailing practice that is less than honest. If anyone is in doubt, the convictions of Enron management should reinforce proper behavior. But the fear of punishment cannot ensure ethical practice.

What the Enron example really illustrates is the power of a few good people to act in accord with their spiritual nature and do what is right. If you are faced with the choice, will you stand with these few good people? You will be expressing your true spiritual nature...and standing with spiritual power.

Too much work? What to do next

Any given workday, most people have more to do than time to do it in, right? Then add family responsibilities and any kind of community work -- how in the world can one person do it all? Hah! How about just picking what to do next?

Sometimes I think this 24/7 world is a crock...I mean, it gives the illusion that we can do more, when all we've done is just added to the list of things we think we should do every day. But the issue of having too much work and too little time has simply expanded with the clock. Hasn't gotten better, in fact it has gotten worse for a lot of people.

But I think I have figured out for myself how to prioritize the activities -- and time -- better. I stopped micro-managing the clock and the list and instead looked at what I was doing from a higher perspective.

Sure, I could do practical things to decide what to do next, like projects that are on deadline and GOTTA be done right away. And maybe I could pick stuff that is easy to do so no biggie, just do them and cross them off the list. And then there are those things that other people are relying on me for -- I am part of a team so I don't get to pick the time to do the work.

Hmmm, this is how it ALL gets demanding, with no clear direction on what to do next that satisfies everyone, me included. Which is why I needed to find a better "decision-tree" on prioritizing activities.

During a particularly stressful period in my life -- running my ad agency AND managing key clients, volunteeering several hours a week for my church, helping out with my extended family needs -- I spent a LOT of time staring at my "to-do" list. I would make a dent here and there, usually because circumstances (i.e. deadlines) screamed loudest. But I felt like a hamster on a wheel, not really getting anywhere. And certainly not feeling at all satisfied with my work. Where was the joy in all this?

At one point, it got to a breaking point: stupid mistakes were happening in the agency work and I felt totally out of control --  now it looked like I had to ADD double-checking my staff's work to my list. In desperation, I called a good friend of mine who is a spiritual mentor and wailed, "What do I do? I feel totally helpless!"

Right off the bat he asked me, "Are you devoting enough time each day to your spiritual study?"

Aaaack! No! He didn't get it! I needed tips on how to order my list and get it all done each day....oh, and by the way, the first thing that got knocked OFF my list was the spiritual study -- no time.

Fortunately, I didn't say these things out loud. Haha, he probably could tell by the look on my face that he wasn't getting any traction yet! So he went on to explain it more specifically.

"The most important part of your day is communing with the Supreme Being, the intelligence that orders the universe. Then you know without a doubt that you are in Her service this day." He went on to say that if my FIRST PRIORITY, my heart's desire, is to express spiritual qualities then I was truly in Her service. And that this would have a practical effect of knowing what was important to do that day. Because: it would be the thing that would advance my spiritual growth!

OMG, I can't tell you how FREE I felt at that moment!! I mean, I finally felt like I had the foundation, the core principle of how I needed to approach each day, each decision, each activity.  I walked back to my office smiling and feeling lighter than air. Seriously. It was like my whole life had taken a right turn. And it changed the way I approached every single day, then and to the present.

Here's what I learned:

First, I commit to spending a portion of the day in spiritual study and communion. For me, that is best in the early morning before the events of the day start crowding in, demanding attention. And it "sets up" the day in the right way. Usually, there is one spiritual insight that particularly means something that day -- and throughout the day, whatever decisions are to be made, I relate that insight to my thinking at that moment. It never fails to clarify the next step.

Next, when I look at activities or projects, I ask myself: Am I doing it because it is easy to do? Or I feel like I am the ONLY one who can do it? Is pressure forcing me to take action?

Divine Spirit should be guiding me, not pressure or time or perceived responsibility. When that is my northstar, I am confident that right decisions will be made and all will be blessed because we are all in the ordered, harmonious universe of Spirit. And maybe there is someone else who should be taking responsibility for the project that fell on my list. I must choose that which helps me grow spiritually...perhaps there is something on my list that, while easy for me to do, will help someone else grow spiritually? Lots of times this means I pick the bigger challenge to do :-)

Years later, the net result of this daily approach hasn't minimized my work load -- in fact I actually think I do more. And I am definitely accomplishing a lot more. It doesn't mean that every day is smooth sailing, but whenever I feel like there is more pressure than joy and freedom, then I know what I have to do next. Nope, not check the list. Look to my spiritual preparation and find peace. THEN I can check the list!

Stress at work? Here's a thought...

Stress, stress, stress...it's everywhere: on the job, at home, in school. Everybody talks about it. Everybody seems to be affected by it at some point -- some people on a continuous basis. I have been working on the strategy for a new company (secret! can't tell yet!!) that required me to do a LOT of research on stress, particularly in the workplace. What I read blew me away.

Did you know that 40% of workers feel that their job is very or extremely stressful? (Is that a surprise to you? Was to me.) And that in 2004, 70% of workers believed that employees in their workplace are more stressed out than they were the year before. But here is the really bad news: the Journal of Environmental Medicine reports that there is accumulating evidence to suggest that stress plays a key role in several types of chronic diseases. In addition, 60-90% of doctor visits are stress-related. 

Phew! So stress isn't just simply depressing thoughts -- it can have major physical effects if not treated. This has made me think, ok, if stress which is mental is the cause of many physical illnesses, then if I can modify my mental state -- like, make it more peaceful instead of in turmoil -- I should be able to change the physical effect, no?

A couple of years ago I was engaged in several task forces at work, in addition to overseeing a 24/7 website. All the work, including the website, required collaboration with other managers and departments and often we didn't see eye to eye on many levels. It was like trying to navigate Rubic's Cube: many issues, many agendas, many objectives. I would come home from work very late, eat dinner and fall into bed. Then up early and start all over again. Oh, and this would usually entail weekend work too.

Not only was the work challenging, the relationships were too. I remember many times during the day feeling very ticked off at someone -- usually many someones! It was like sloshing through quicksand to get anywhere. As I look back on it, the bigger challenge was the people part, not the work part. But at the time it felt like this big blob of work just sitting on me.

This had been going on for a few weeks when early one morning I woke up with a major pain in my urinary tract. It was so uncomfortable I could hardly move. But I forced myself to get up (gee, that seemed like what was happening a lot every morning!) because I had a big presentation to give that day. I had to be at work.

Every function of getting dressed was a pain. Finally, standing at the kitchen counter wondering what I should do -- go to work and be in pain, or stay home and be in pain? I said out loud, "This is such a PAIN!!!"

All of a sudden it hit me -- like a thought coming into my head sideways: "This is all about the pain at work: the people not seeing things your way, the projects not working, the stress of trying to drag everyone along with you!"

This was a VERY humbling thought. At that moment I realized that the HUGE annoyance I felt toward everything was the sum of the stress I had been carrying around. In other words, this annoyance could be at the root of my physical pain.

Amazingly the pain I had been feeling for a few hours became somewhat less acute. Huh! Maybe there was a connection here I needed to dig a little deeper into. OK, if the mental annoyance and turmoil is at the root, how can I change that? This negative mental state can be changed into positive thoughts. For me, the most effective positive thoughts are those that are spiritual. These are based on how I think of the divine Spirit, who is all powerful to me, and how I think of my fellow beings.  How can I get rid of the ticked-off feeling about them and align my thinking to the Divine?

Well, I have learned that when I really see myself AND other people as creations of the one Spirit, then my feeling about them turns to the positive. So here was definitely the time to do that!! How could I be annoyed at a creation of Spirit? If Spirit is good and love, then the creations must be good too. I really had to change my way of thinking about them as "causing" my annoyance to seeing them as people of integrity, kindness, caring -- after all, they were giving their best effort to this work.  How could I possibly think I was the only one working hard?

Bottomline, I needed to be GRATEFUL for each one of the people that I was working with. I needed to care about them as children of the one divine Love. In that way, I was seeing myself too as a loved child of the Divine Spirit. They couldn't possibly be annoying and I couldn't suffer the effects of annoyance! I really had to see what was the only substantial cause -- Spirit -- and what was the only effect: good.

I thought a LOT about these spiritually-focused ideas and more over the next hour...because it made me feel SO GOOD! The burden of all the work just kind of evaporated away and I was actually looking forward to going to work. And yes, the pain dwindled away too. In a couple of hours it was gone, but the best feeling I had remained: a feeling of bouyancy, happiness. I hadn't felt that in a long time.

And my relationships with the fellow managers improved significantly -- we finished the projects we were working on, but I the lesson I learned about seeing the good in my colleagues continued. Many times over the next couple of years, when I was tempted to fall into the trap of annoyance, I remembered to be grateful for my co-workers' efforts. Can't be annoyed and grateful at the same time!!

What is stress? In a way it is thinking that you have no control of the situation, whatever it might be. What I learned is that I CAN control my thoughts...and if they are the cause of the stress, then I can change them to be positive, to be in line with spiritual thoughts. And that can change everything.

Competition vs. Cooperation

"Competition" is such a common business practice, isn't it? I mean, it is so common that it is considered acceptable. As a business, you want to know who your competitors are...you are "competing" for the same audience or market. I have been writing a lot of business plans that have the standard "Who is our competition?" section in the outline...because you gotta know who else is in your space so that you can provide the customer with something unique or better, right?

But when you think about it, "competition" means there is always a winner...and a loser. It presumes that there is a limited "something" to go after: first place, larger market share (of a limited number), more earned revenue than the next guy (of the limited pie). Harmless (even necessary) competitive thinking?

Competition slides into real negative territory when you start thinking you want to eliminate it; or, conversely, people think you are harming another company because you are "competing" -- again, for the same limited "something".

Years ago I was developing a website for college sports. It was the first site to approach college athletic departments and offer to post all of their sports info -- scores, game stories, press releases, whatever -- not just the marquee sports (football, basketball), and not only from the "name" schools. This required visiting lots and lots of colleges, explain the website and set up the relationship. It was a pretty cool idea (this was waaaay before ESPN.com!).

However, within a year a competitor arrived on the scene. And his tactic was to bad-mouth his competition (us). I heard about it from another college contact who shared the specifics. I was shocked, horrified and afraid -- this could potentially harm us in the very small (oh yeah, limited) marketplace.

As soon as I hung up the phone, I tried to pray. But I was SO TICKED OFF at the competitor that I wasn't getting anywhere. So I called a friend of mine who I consider a spiritual mentor. I blurted out the terrible thing this competitor had done and, without missing a beat, he said "And what are you thinking about him?"

Aaack! No, my spiritual mentor is missing the POINT! the competitor is the bad guy -- HE needs to change! Fortunately, I didnt say this out loud...but I did squeak, "What??"

He then went on to explain that while I couldn't change the competitor's thinking, I did have control over my own thoughts. And the most important thing for me to do right at this moment was to align my thinking with Spirit and Love. For instance, I could know that Spirit is the only Creator and that Spirit's creation is only good. I am part of that creation and so is my good activity...in fact, good ideas that bless must come from Spirit and Love. And nothing can harm or prevent good ideas.

I started to get a measure of peace -- but I wasn't done! Now I had to include my competitor in my spiritual thinking. He is part of the spiritual creation too. Therefore, he can only be good. And whatever bad stuff he is saying is not true about me AND not true about who he is! So it won't/can't stand against the spiritual idea of who we BOTH are.

Ahh, peace at last. Instead of looking at my competitor as, well, my competitor, I was now looking at him as a compadre...a fellow spiritual being. We are not opposing or warring enemies, we are "cooperating" in the realm of Spirit by living spiritual and good lives.

What happened? I heard from other college contacts that they didn't pay any attention to the talk -- thought it was typical sales chatter (and not effective sales chatter). He eventually stopped it. And then one day I got a call from him saying we should meet and talk about how there might be good potential if we could work together. Cooperate not compete.

We did meet and had subsequent discussions about how it might work. And while we didn't end up working together (both companies went in different directions) we did forge a positive relationship.

When I think about Cooperating vs. Competition, a few things come to mind:

1. In Spirit, there are no losers...or enemies. Every spiritual idea is a winner, loved unconditionally by Spirit. The only thing to lose is the "enemy" label!

2. Good is unlimited and abundant when I abide by spiritual thinking and living. Therefore, I will always have what I need, no limits!

3. The creations of Spirit include all living, spiritual things, and no spiritual creature can harm another. So I must be inclusive in my prayers to bless, not harm, and I will be blessed!

4. And I can be open for Spirit to guide me to ways of cooperation with fellow spiritual beings.

In business plans, there will still be sections called "Who is our competition?". But imagine what could happen when we see our competitors as spiritual beings? We are already cooperating with them in the realm of Spirit.

Caring for the world, one person at a time.

OK, I know I have blogged a lot about Jill Carroll, her capture, her trials in captivity and, happily, her release. But reading the stories and watching the video of her welcome home by her family and her other family, The Christian Science Monitor, made me weep. Jill talks about the extraordinary lengths the Monitor went to in order to get her released (she calls herself a "lowly freelancer"), and the incredible outpouring of love and practical support not only for her and her family but her Iraqi interpreter's family (he was slain in the kidnapping). You gotta watch the video and listen to Jill's words...she describes how a caring organization is supposed to feel and act.

It made me think of the Bible story of the one lost sheep. A shepherd in the desert with his flock notices that one of his 100 sheep is missing. Instead of calculating, "Oh well, one percent lost isnt too bad a shrinkage issue...", he leaves the 99 to find the one.

He knows that the 99 are safe -- they know how to stick together and look out for each other. But there is one in dire need. There is one who is vulnerable and exposed to danger. That is reason enough for his effort to seek out and help that little one. The parable concludes with the shepherd finding the lost sheep and rejoicing.

To me, the shepherd represents the guiding and guarding force of the divine Shepherd, infinite Life (this is God to me). Every single one of Life's creatures is ordered, placed, and unconditionally loved -- even I am, when I think I am displaced, misplaced, out of order or even hated. Who am I to challenge this Life-force? Even the little sheep could not stray from it.

A spiritual author who has never failed to provide insight and comfort for me, Mary Baker Eddy, writes, "Let us open our affections to the Principle that moves all in harmony, -- from the falling of a sparrow to the rolling of a world."

As a manager, I have overseen staffs of 15 people to 100 people. It is easy to think about and make extra effort for those who you see every day and work closely with. But now I am thinking, have I cared for ALL of my staff as the shepherd cared for all of his sheep? Clearly, as the Bible story shows, not all 100 sheep are needing help at the same time!

But I am thinking that I need to really listen -- and pray to listen -- for anyone that needs extra care and practical help from me. And then I need to respond. To think "what can one person do?" is a cop-out -- and is actually another way of saying "what is the importance of one person (or one family) in need?"

The Christian Science Monitor is known for a very humanitarian view of the whole world. Jill said she knew and respected what the Monitor was about, but until she saw its principles lived in her own life, she didn't know what it meant until now.

If I am going to care about the world, then I need to practice caring, one-by-one, at home, in the community, in my work.